the challenge

I was faced with a challenge...

"My wise friends, to what do you pin your self worth?"
He questioned us, casually, amidst some dog videos and buzzfeed articles about 'why betches love fall'.
My self-worth? Do I pin it to something specific? Is there something that defines me? Is it a number, a feeling, a trait? First, let's define it.

[self-wurth] noun
1. the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.
Next let's see what people had to say for themselves:

  • Resilience and strength of character
  • Capacity for love
  • God
  • Ability to stand by my word
  • Good teeth
  • $$$$ in the bank
  • Inner light & peace
  • My Pinterest board

Ok, so naturally some took the question to heart a little more than others. I have to recognize that while reading the question and before putting an ounce of thought into it, I pictured my dad. So, one thing I know about myself is that my family is very much a part of what makes me who I am. And that some of what I consider my best traits, stem from the lessons they've taught me.

I pin my self worth to my judgement of character. There's a feeling I get deep in my soul that tells me 'this person, this new life in front of you, they're your people.' Consequently there are others who upon meeting, I get a funky vibe from and tend to stray from unless our paths cross in a different light and the relationship changes. I pride myself on knowing someone, from the stories they share and the moments they cherish. I pride myself on my crafts, and the time I take out of my day to create things for people- to share a piece of myself with them in a way that shows them that I care.

I pride myself on my cooking, and my inability to make just enough for one person. But mainly on an open-door, show up and get fed, mentality that my mother shared with everyone she ever met.

I pride myself on my heart. And my willingness to share it with others. There's no question that in life we will open our hearts to people that don't deserve it; people that got lucky and caught us in a vulnerable moment, but ultimately will take us for granted and prove they don't deserve us. And we will learn. But to have the ability to grow, move forward and not close your heart off to new opportunity, I pride myself on that. Love wide open. Jump in with two feet. Experience life.

To what do I pin my self-worth? An unrivaled confidence built solely on a believe that I wake up every day working towards being the best version of myself. Someone my dad would be proud to call his daughter, and my peers would be proud to call their friend.